Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
