my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
