I could make wine with my vomit
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
