and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there's paper in my vomit.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize