Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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