Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
