I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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