Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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