i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
