is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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