I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
