im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
