8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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