I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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