I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
