I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
