I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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