No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I look better un-naked...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
