dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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