The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
is that a dick in a sweater?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
