she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize