can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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