i think my mom watched the whole time
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Houston, we have a squirter
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize