dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i think i just lost a toe
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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