Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
