i permit you to call me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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