i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
