I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
even my farts smell like vagina
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
