Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
