i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
When are your genitals available?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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