all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
