But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
