Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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