We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
