Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Two words: blizzard sex
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
