you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
