Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
