hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
