Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
