I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Apparently you make a good broom.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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