Midget sex pt 2 tonight
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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