I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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