i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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