i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
