I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
