the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
