Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
