Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize