Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
