I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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