and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize