yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
