no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
