New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
