I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We have started to decorate penises.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
