New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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