Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The air was thick with penises
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
